Chubbychik ish Me

So Peaceful

2006-02-01T04:56:00.000-08:00

I am so so happy these days. I don't really know why but these past few days I am so contented and happy with my life. I could not as for anything more except for these moments not to end. Mark and I argue all the time but I realize it's just simply because we care for each other. I am so deeply, madly, and truly in love with him. Today is actually our 17th monthsary meaning, we'vwe been together for almost 1 year and 5 months. I am so happy being his gurl. No one is comparable with him and all the effort that he has done just for our relationship to remain strong. I value him and our relationship so much that I could never ever live without him. Acoording to my philo prof it will never be possible that a person cannot live with the absence of someone special in his life but in my case, it is possible. I would always imagine my life with him and no one else.

It really feels so great when you have somebody to love and to share life with. Having Mark to be that person surely makes life so worthwhile.

What my life has.... RIGHT NOW!!

2005-09-09T07:48:00.000-07:00

Bunch of friends... a wondeful fam... a close to perfect partner in life... a trustworthy bestfriend... a magnificent life... EVERTHING SEEMS SO RIGHT EXCEPT FOR ONE THING... I feel someone is lacking in my life right now... It's just as simple as this... Im so happy and THANKFUL with everything that's happening with me and my life but it's like I am not that contented... Im looking and searching for someone who can fill my emptiness inside... I have seen my highschool friends a while ago.. We're all happy of course to see one another... It's a wonderful experience for each one of us for sure... haaayyy... it's just that i hate to admit it... im so stupid to stil live my life in denial of one thing that I admit i certainly can't live without... DAMN SHIT!!! I really miss mark...

this week is surely one hell... We have only seen each other twice... SHIT!!! I hate this feeling... I promised myself to be more mature now... but I can't... I definitely can't survive a day not seeing his face... He's my defense mechanism... Aside from my fam he's my only reason why I would stil continue to breathe... It it were'nt for him I could have died ages ago... I know it's a bit exaggerated... It's just that I would want to release all these feelings inside of me.... I cant' live without him... i never thought anyone as simple as he is would affect my entire life... I don't have any regrets having him... I the luckiest girl in this world because he accepted and loved me for who i am... My only regret is that my life dependent so much on him... alam ko nhi2rapan na siya... It's just that i'm asking for sometime... i'll teach myself... I'll learn... to show him how much I really cares for him.... and only him...

Shit

2005-07-26T07:44:00.000-07:00

P*ta!!!! I never thought life would be this cruel to me... at first I thought everything was in place and I am doing fine... Suddenly, the strong twist came by... never in my life i have wondered to meet a F*ckSh*t like HER!!!! yes... DEFINITELY she's a gurl... P*ta tlga!!! bakit ganun??? khit kelan sa buhay ko wla pang nkskit sa kin tulad ng gnwa nia... Tangina!!! Isang buong linggo ko na itong dinadla... bkit sa dinami dami ng mssmang ugali na pde kong mkasalamuha ay ikaw pa?!! langya!!!

Anung mrrmdaman nio kun ang tnuring niong B*s* F*en* ay gagaguhin lan kaio??? P*ta!! dahil sknya mnahal ko na ang mura!!! tndi nia... hndi ko akalain mangyyri ito... what i thought to be a wonderful friendship turned out to be a HUGE DISASTER... sa mga makakabasa nito pxnxia na kaio!!! ngaun lan tlga nhirapan ang kalooban ko!!!! sa mga nakkkila2 skin tlga alam nio un... hnggang ngaun umiiyak pa rin ako!!! lhat ng pgkababa gnawa ko na sa hrapan nia!!!! khit bastusin nia ako...AIOS LAN!!! P*ta!!!! Maramdaman nia lan na e2 ako hndang tumupad sa pangako ng isng B*s*F*en*...

Bkit ganun??? Andaming tanong sa utak ko??? Slamat sa Diyos at may bngay pa din ciang mga taong susuporta sa Gagong tulad ko... Just hope Karma will not meet her way!!! P*ta!!! hanggang ngaun umaasa pa rin akong aaios cia!!!! P*ta tlga!!!!

My Favorite Word---Ambiguous!!!

2005-07-03T03:02:00.000-07:00

I haven't recovered yet... e2 lan ang mssbi ko!!! hehehe... 3 wiks nko pmpsok sa st. paul ngaun... but it's still nice to reminisce the past... last july 1 10th monthsary na namin ni mark... I feel so lucky to have him.. Iba ang feeling na may taong nagmamahal sau... and to think na si Mark Arcilla pa un??? it is surely a priviledge on my part... (*naks*) memorable tlaga un july 1 for me... nkita ko almost lhat ng st. simon... it's rily nice to see and be with those guys... ansrap ng feeling na you are secured with so many people not minding what they will think about you... iba cla... wlan mka2plit... Kun pde lan we'll go in one school for college gnwa na sna nmin db?? pran mga kpatid na cla!!! iba pg anjan cla!!!=)

charisse is not feeling well today,.. something came up daw kc... i don't know what it is... pero she said I made her smile... I feel happy and honored about it... mnsan ko lan mgawa sa BESTFRIEND KO UN!!! I believe nman kc na she's strong enough... Like anyone else she had gone through a lot things in life... Matapang cia!!! She already proved me that...

Aldrin is happy I know... Im happy that he is trying to patch things up with Kaye these days... Im happy for them... Bilib din ako k Aldz... not all people can do what he does... He surely and deeply loves kaye... npa2smyl nlan ako kc he proved all people especially me that love really conquers all...=)

Gling nga pla ako rob manila knina wid the fam!!!... o db?? araw2 nlan... ciempre ng icemonster ako!!! can't resist it... Grabe... Kaaddict.... Naala2 ko c cindee... ang co-backstabber ko!!! hahahha!!! it's just a term mind you!! iba din itong ba2eng ito eh.... srap kasama... down n down nko but she's trying her best to cheer me up... so glad i'm her friend...=)

Sarap tlga mgphinga and to make gala wid the fam!!! i misss them even if I see them everyday... iba na kc un ksama mo un pamilya mo... cla ung mga taong d ka iiwan khit anung mangyri!!! npatunayan ko na un!!! kaia ikama2tay ko pg nwla pa cla skin... June 28 bday ni dad... i miss him so much na tlga... Iba na pg complete un family... nun day ng bday nia i am so disturbed... pra bng everything was not in place... anhrap ng nami2s mo un tao... mskit pa wla kang mggwa para mplapit sknya... i rily feel so bad...=(

im looking forward to be with the simon pipol agen... d k tlaga mgsasawa sknla!!!=)

Daddy,,i love you and i know I will be wid you soon....

If someone happens to visit my blog pls visit this site www.interviewwithgod.com

sarap lan ciang bisitahin if you want God to uplift your spirit and if you are disturbed you can surely count on Him!!! promise!!!

Ciao!!

after a Month!!!

2005-06-25T07:50:00.000-07:00

wwWWaaaHHHhh!!! anlupet... pgkatpos ng isang buong buwan chka ko lan nbisita ito ulit... hahaha... mjo mhrap na kc sa skul... e2 2 wiks nkong pblik2 sa maynila... hrap pla mgcollege... tlgang sriling ckap coz u cant expect anyone to help you... although i met a bunch of trustworthy people na iba p dn ung mtagal mo ng kakila2 at ksama!!!(misu st. simon!!!) may bestfriend n nga ko eh... C EULA CHARISSE VALDEZ!! haha... joke!! pg nbasa nia to bka ptayin nia ko... kc LEJOS surname nia... gling ciang Manresa Pque... dun cia graduate... love ko to... tlgang I will do everything to tke care of her... sarap nia ksama at love nia c mark...(what more can i ask for..) kya lan, mnsan she reminds me of my tropa!!! TROPANG B!!!! syet... mis ko na kau!!! d ko man lan kyo mkita sa lupet ng sched ko!!! langya... nkkuwi ako 8 na ng gbi... anung klase un??? para ngan plgue akong hnahbol ng kabayo eh.. dhuil nkkpgunahan ako sa mga taong sumasakay sa bus... buti nlan plgue ko cnusundo ni mark... my protector ako!!! hahaha... =)

sa skul ok nmn... lupet ng psych prof ko... sa sobrang tlino nia pran andmi niang gstong ituro na di mo lam kun nu uunahin mong intindihin.... sobrnag pretty pa... grbe... sarap nia ttgan!!! dmi nkong frnds,,.. love ko nga cla eh... actuali 10 kmeng mgkksama... (Cindee, Angel,Abby,Bel,Sheila,Modsna-->d ko lam kun tma spelling!!!, Princess--->josephian cia nun 1st yir!!! thank goodness khit p2no nkhnga ko may skulm8 ako!!!,Dwinkle,c Besty Charisse at ako!!!) Grabe... sakop na sakop nmen ang buong rob pg mgkksama kme... dbest tong mga taong to eh!!! mku2let... msrap kasama!!! ansaya ng buhay ko sa st. paul dhil sknla... unfortunately lhat cla ssli sa dance troupe!! langya anung pgasa ko dun??? mg gglee club 2loi ako mgisa...=(

haayy... dme ko pa gs2 ikwento... sna mhaba pa oras ko kaia lan nguumpisa plan dmi ng termpapers... minimum of 5 pages p daw huh??? at gymnastics un!!! langya anung isu2lat ko dun??? e1 ko ba... mnsan ansarap nlng palutangin mnsan ang utak ko sa alapaap pra d ko na mshadong mramdamn ang hirap!!! o db??? to the highest level na ito???=)

wel... sa lhat ng st. simon gudluck sanyo... sana ngeenjoy kaung lhat!!! kita kita tau!!! muahhh...

A Chance...

2005-05-18T22:45:00.000-07:00

After almost two weeks of not writing here... all i can say is that I MISS MY BLOG SO MUCH!!!! harhar... It's been quite awhile already... Many things happened to my colorful life that added more spice to it...;) I'm so happy and busy these days... That explains why I don't have the chance to update this blog... I really miss a lot of things... I miss my blog... my highschool barkada... my friends... my alma mater and most especially Mark... There are lot of things that I want to do but I know I can't... That makes my life a little frustrating... If only I'd be able to get any chance to do those things, I will certainly grab it and make the most out of it...

A new school year is fast approaching... After three weeks I'm going to enter a whole new environment, meet a bunch of new people and experience a lot of new things... I'm so excited about it... This means that I have to be responsible enough to handle myself... Now, I will be independent... Not my mom, my sister or anybody can do this for me except myself... I'm a bit nervous but happy that I will have the chance to do all these things and be able to grow with different people...

Mark is doing great... He already attended his two-day orientation at La Salle Taft... I know he's so happy about it... I wish him all the luck and I believe that he can surpass anything...=) Last May 14, he got the chance to spend a time with my whole fam... We went to Sm Southmall to eat lunch and to buy some stuffs for school... Mark accompany us and even played arcade with my siblings... I'm so happy that day... My mom even caught him while he's wiping my forehead... I thought she will scold me but then I was surprised when she even teased me about it.. I can say that she likes Mark already... and that's a very good thing to know... Knowing that Mark get along so well with my fam is surely a big thing for me... (iloveyou swity..)

I guess I will end up here my mom is already telling me to stop this thing because we will go somewhere I don't know...=)

I'm BACK!!!

2005-05-09T20:42:00.000-07:00

Whoa... It's good to be back!!! I've been out of this blog for two days and I can say that I absolutely missed it... I really enjoyed Mother's day last Sunday...=) I just hope my mom also did...=) We werwe so happy being together... the whole fam went out and did crazy things around the mall... haha!! (I belong to a unique and wonderful fam!!!) It's my mom's special day... I hope true bliss really reached her heart... How I wish my dad is with us though I certainly believed he never left us...=)

Yesterday was a very tiring day for me and my mom... I learned how to commute from our place to my school... It's a good experience and I'm happy... My mom's wacky side always shows up when we travel together... She's vigilant on what's happening around us... We laugh at everything because of the way she reacts on things... I'm so happy she's with me... We had lunch at Pizza Hut and pampered ourselves around the mall by just merely walking around...=) I will certainly miss this one...

I've got to see these movies for the past two days... Each one is absolutely GREAT!!! Cinderella Story is all about believing in yourself that is greatly needed by most people of my age...(that includes me!!!) Freaky Friday is about how parent and child should respect each other's point of views... Of course, we can't deny the fact that age gap is certainly the thing that causes misunderstanding but what should matter most is their love for one another... =) I really enjoyed The Enemy of the State... If you want to be thrilled I definitely recommend this one!!! With its technology inclined plot this is certainly something to see...=)

Mark and I am doing great these days... We're beginning to value each other even more... Less fights and more on mushy words... Though all we have AGAIN is phonecalls and text messages we are still getting stronger... The thing that matters the most for us is how important we are for one another... and having this thing in our hearts is more than enough... (I miss u honey... I love you...)

It's really hot these days... Ate Kai said that May is the hottest month this year and I'm starting to believe her... Yesterday when I went to Manila I perspire a lot even though I'm riding in an airconditioned bus... And to think that I have to walk to go to school with this heat, Oh my GOD!!! I'm speechless...

I want to share something more but my mom keeps on bugging me to accompany her... I have to go for now... =)

A Dull Day

2005-05-07T03:39:00.000-07:00

This day had been an ordinary one for me... I slept almost the whole day, watched cartoons on Disney Channel and that's it... Mark of course, had been a part of my day although we're not together... I'm still happy reminiscing what happened yesterday and again hoping for another chance to be with him...=) (I love you Mark..)

Just want to post this song... It means a lot to me...=) For my Honey...=)

Your Love
by Alamid
album:

verse:
you're the one that never lets me sleep
to my mind, down to my soul you touch my lips
you're the one that i can't wait to see
with you here by my side i'm in ecstasy

pre-chorus:
i am all alone without you
my days are dark without a glimpse of you
but now that you came into my life
i feel complete
the flowers bloom, my morning shines
and i can see

chorus:
your love is like the sun
that lights up my whole world
i feel the warmth inside
your love is like the river
that flows down through my veins
i feel the chill inside

verse:
every time i hear our music play
reminds me of the things that we've been through
in my mind i can't believe it's true
but in my heart the reality is you

repeat pre-chorus and chorus

>>>POEMS... POEMS... POEMS...<<<

The Definition of Love
by Anrew Marvell

My love is of a birth as rare
As 'tis for object strange and high;
It was begotten by Despair
Upon Impossibility.

Magnanimous Despair alone
Could show me so divine a thing
Where feeble Hope could ne'er have flown,
But vainly flapp'd its tinsel wing.

And yet I quickly might arrive
Where my extended soul is fixt,
But Fate does iron wedges drive,
And always crowds itself betwixt.

For Fate with jealous eye does see
Two perfect loves, nor lets them close;
Their union would her ruin be,
And her tyrannic pow'r depose.

And therefore her decrees of steel
Us as the distant poles have plac'd,
(Though love's whole world on us doth wheel)
Not by themselves to be embrac'd;

Unless the giddy heaven fall,
And earth some new convulsion tear;
And, us to join, the world should all
Be cramp'd into a planisphere.

As lines, so loves oblique may well
Themselves in every angle greet;
But ours so truly parallel,
Though infinite, can never meet.

Therefore the love which us doth bind,
But Fate so enviously debars,
Is the conjunction of the mind,
And opposition of the stars.

Another one...

That Smile Is For...
by Jana Mazeika

That smile is for the endless
Love that you have shown to me,

That smile is for the lovely way
Of how things used to be.

That smile is for the happiness
That we've shared throughout our days,

That smile is for the laughs we've shared
When our lips went different ways.

That smile is for the words we've shared
That has brightened up my face,

That smile is for the way you held me
Any day or any place.

That smile is for the days behind
When we had so much fun,

And that smile is for the trials we fought
'Till all was beat and won.

One Last...

I Love You
by Jody Nichols

My knees start to weaken
At the first sight of your face
My heart starts to melt
At the thought of your embrace

Your love flows through me
Like a river flows down its path
Your kiss lifts me up so high
I could probably fall to my death

I really wish that
When I looked into your eyes I could see
Exactly how it is that
You feel about me

I get nervous when you're around me
I feel I could cry when you're away
I dream about you
Every night and day

I want you to know
My last three words will always remain true
Regardless of what I may say or do
You'll always know that
I love you.

Oh my... There are definitely a lot of poems that inspire us each day... This is all for my honey... I love you so much.... Hope you like it...=)

I'm in Cloud Nine...

2005-05-06T06:05:00.000-07:00

I AM SO HAPPY!!!! This is the day that I've been longing, praying and wishing for to happen... THIS IS CERTAINLY MY DAY!!! =) I got the chance to see and be with Mark with NO WORRIES at all...=) It all started yesterday when Jeff called me to tell me that we have a meeting today to do some stuffs fo our yearbook... He said that we should organize the pictures needed so that it will be easier for them(since they already started the lay-out and design..) so he called me to help... Actually, I am so excited about this... I miss being with those guys and fooling around with them... But what excites me most is the thought that this is the CHANCE to see Mark... =)

After talking to Jeff I texted Mark to ask him if he has plans for today... I was devastated when he said he still doesn't know since Josh and Miko(his two kinakapatid...) are staying with them until Sunday... It seems to me that I still cannot see him and spend sometime with him... All I did was just to tell him that I'll be going to school this day with no expectations this time... But still he didn't let the opportunity to pass very easily... He promised me that he'll meet me at 12:30 in the afternoon no matter where I am... It made me smile, really but not too much... I was looking forward that he will fetch me up at home and we'll go to school together coz for me the thing that really matters is the time that we're together... I should stop expecting I said to myself...

Before I knew it, it was already 12 pm... After exchanging stories with my highschool friends about their soon-to-be schools and the experiences they had when applying for college I admit I forgot the time... It was certinly a happy moment lurking around with those people... In no time, Mark appeared at the door with a smile on his face...(I can still imagine the way he did it..) Honestly, I am really happy to see him... This is the only time that we have since he will be already going to school after two weeks...

After going to Hazel's place, Mark and I decided to drop by at RFC for him to have his haircut... I promised to accompany him before so now is the chance for me to fulfill my promise... I feel so secured everytime I am with him... The way he holds my hand whenever we cross the street, the way he wipes my forehead whenever I perspire and the way he touches my back while asking me if I need something surely makes my heartbeat faster than the usual.... These are just some of the few things that only him can do... No one had ever made me feel so excited and happy the way he does and that makes me feel I am loved...=)

After the haircut, I find him really cute... =) He's the usual type of guy... Tall, dark and handsome...=) (you should thank me for this honey...) But beyond those attributes, he definitely stands out among the others... I don't know what's in him but I know for sure anyone would love him... =) We went to KFC after a few seconds... We ate our lunch at 3:00 in the afternoon... He sat by my side the way I wanted him to do... We exchanged stories and even laugh at many other things... I am so happy being with him... Whenever he's around, all I want is for the world to stop rotating so that I will have all the time to stay with him... If only I can do something to make this crazy thing happen I will do it for sure...=) (I love you and I belong to you till forever..)

When we were at KFC I asked him if we could just stay there since I'm not feeling well already... (He didn't know this thing... Sorry honey...) My stomach is not okay I know... I'm trying not to mind it by diverting my attention to him and thinking of ways how he will not notice it... I just wished nothing bad will happen to me... I never want him to see me so weak...

Things went on so well... We had so much fun I believe... I never want to see him go away but we know that we have to separate no matter what... He really made my day!!!=) Life is never this blissful if I didn't meet him... Im so delighted that each day that passed God has something for us to cherish and reminisce forever... These things no matter how hard and exciting really made us stronger...=)

The Princess in Me...

2005-05-05T04:17:00.001-07:00

We all know for a fact that it is every girl's dream to live and become a princess even once in her life... Who would not want to enjoy the priviledges that a princess experiences in her life and to belong to a royal family admired by everyone from every nation, culture or race?

This time The Princess Diaries 2 is the one who inspired my day... I got the chance to see this film today with my whole fam(of course!)... I think it has been my hobby this summer... To watch movies and live by the lessons that each of them offers that I believe can certainly help me with life...=)

The Princess Diaries 2 is just another love story that you will love... But as I have said a few days ago, every movie has something to be proud of.. =) The great thing that I've learned from this one is the importance of being RESPONSIBLE... I can totally relate to this... In fact, I admit that I'm not that responsible... Sometimes I don't take things seriously even if I have to... My health suffers the most at this point... I believe that if it wasn't for Mark and my fam I wouldn't be this careful and cautious of myself... (Thanks guys..) =)

Mark and I got into something AGAIN today... Maybe you'll think I'm a war freak!!! Yes I am, I must admit...But it is only with him... I really love my guy so much... With all the things that he has done for me and my fam sometimes I don't think I'm worthy enough to have him... Sometimes I don't make any sense... I feel so stupid but still all he ever did was to make me feel he's so proud he has me... I feel so lucky enough being his girl... I just hate this FUCKING summer... I can't be with him or even just to see him for awhile... He's really a nice guy and that the only thing that makes sense... He never failed to understand me and to accept everything in me... And yet, all I ever did was to make him sad though he always says I was the reason that he is happy... Our love really counts the most in our lives... I just hope God won't ever let me be away from him... Coz when that happens my life would be worthless... (I love you Mark! I'm sorry... Hope you'll always accept my apology... I miss you...

"All, everything that I understand, I understand only because I love."

- Leo Tolstoy

"I seem to have loved you in numberless forms, numberless times, in life after life, in age after age forever. " - Rabindrath Tagore

My stomach is not working well today... I feel so weak and I look so pale as if blood is not flowing through my veins... This is the usual scenario0 that I experience every now and then... There are times that I even have to stay at home just for me to feel better... I have ulcer and has been suffering from it since I am in highschool... It is mainly because of my stubborness... I have to drink a lot of medicines just to let my stomach calm itself and also to cure my anemia... Though, it's not easy for me I have to do it... I have to do it for Mark and for my fam.. I have to be RESPONSIBLE this time so that I will be able to enjoy my life to the fullest the way I want it to be...

I had experienced one of the biggest realization about my life today... It may change a lot about my life that's why I'm so thankful it happened...=)

I'm on the Go...

2005-05-04T06:16:00.000-07:00

I had so much fun today... I ate "HALO-HALO"(which is certainly my favorite... haha!!!) , went out with the whole fam, had merienda at the mall and practiced driving once again... This time I did a great job according to my mom... I really enjoy what I was doing awhile ago even if it has to take only a few minutes...=)

I prepared our dinner tonight... I cooked the only dish that I know...CARBONARA!!! I'm so happy that my fam liked it... Maybe it's because they missed it since I stopped cooking for them for awhile...=)

I am talking to Mark right now... He already got his schedule for this fast approaching school year 05-06.. He seems so excited about it(though he didn't directly told me..) that's why I'm so happy for him.. But suddenly, I felt a little uneasy... Those schedules that he has made me realize that there are so many things that has to change between the two of us... Last year, it was a very different thing... I admit that he is the only reason why I always smile everytime a new day begins, why I go to school very early in the morning and why I study so hard to achieve my dreams... He is certainly one of my inspirations that made my life so colorful and sensible... Now, a new chapter in our lives begin.. This time I know we have to sort of let go one another and let each other grow with other people... It's not as hard as I think... It's just that I get used everytime I call his name and there he is right in front of me in a split second... I'll surely miss the times when we hang-out, (just the two of us!!) the times when we study together and eat at the same time, the times when he always accompany me to the library to do some stuffs, the usual scenery that we have in the classroom, and most especially those long waits(YOUNG JO!!) that he has to bear just for us to be together even if it means he has to go home at 11 in the evening...(I love you so much honey...) Remembering these things certainly made me smile... Having him always at my side made me feel I AM REALLY SPECIAL!!! He is the only guy that made me feel this way... He values me so much that I can never replace even just a little of what he's doing for me and my family... I love him very much that no matter what I do, it is only him who can make my heart beat faster and slower at the same time... I just wish him the best of everything and I promise him that I will always be around waiting for him.. (Hope you smiled honey.. I love you.. Muah! )

This morning I got to see the film Shrek... I know it's a bit late but this is the only chance that I have to watch movies... For me, It's another wonderful story and to be in a tale like this is definitely everyone's dream... TO BE ACCEPTED AND LOVED FOR WHO YOU ARE!!!=)

I am so in love right now... I don't know why am I feeling this way... I haven't talked to Mark that much but I really feel my heart will burst with this feeling that I have.. Now I know the true magic of love... It happened to me the moment Mark came into my life... I can only imagine myself with him and only him... I love him and even if I can't promise him that much, FOREVER is the word that best suits what I have for him... =)

"For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart. It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul."- Judy Garland

This is all I have for today... =)

All I want is to hear your voice and to be with you... with no one and just the two of us... spending the rest of our lives together... I LOVE YOU... Thank God I found you...=)

"Come live with me, and be my love, And we will some new pleasures prove. Of golden sands, and crystal brooks, With silken lines, and silver hooks." - John Donne

I am Exhausted...

2005-05-03T05:33:00.000-07:00

I am sooooo tired... and so is my whole family... I woke up at 6:30 in the morning and ate breakfast ALONE... Right after my meal I took a bath... Honestly, my whole body is not in the mood to do something today... All I want is to sleep and stay at home... I feel so bad... Mark and I had a small fight yesterday... It's not actually something to be worried about... It's just that I was so stubborn and all I think of is myself that's why I feel so guilty about it... I terribly miss him... We can't see each other nowadays because of busy scheds that we both have... =( All that we have is those short phonecalls and mushy text messages saying how much we do love each other... He kept on reminding me about my health and how I should take care of myself... He's actually like my mom who never failed to tell me to stay away fIrom Iced tea, don't sleep late and drink my bullshit medicines... I feel so lucky having my mom and Mark in my life... They are God's precious gift... But there are times that I feel so restricted with these things... Sometimes I can't see what I will benefit from all of these since I still don't feel anything wrong with my body... But I believe in them and I love them so much... Without them, I know I will not be as healthy as I am today... (Honey, I'm so sorry about yesterday... I miss you and I want to be with you soon... I promise that I will TRY my best to be a good girl from now on... I am your girl and I am proud I have you... I love you.... Muah... Muah... Muah...*wink*)

My sun sim is really bullshit... Yesterday, it was okay but now I don't even have a signal?!?!! (Shit!!!) I can't talk to Mark or even make use of my phone for texting my mom because of problems of the network that I don't even know!!! ~sigh~ I'm thinking of disposing it one of these days but I can't.... Actually, my relationship with Mark got better and stronger because of this and it's too expensive to use regular load.. hmmmm.... Maybe I'll just bear with it and pray that it will be okay in no time..

We arrived at St. Paul University Manila at 8:30 in the morning... We waited for so long (I think for about an hour...) for the assessment of my subjects... As usual my mom met soooo many people today... (She's always like that!! I'm so happy she's my mom... She's so cool..) Her friendly attitude surely attracts many people to open up to her even if its about their lives... Sometimes they even trust my mom and share to her their problems.. (I feel so grateful I have her...) She's really one of a kind... A unique individual who truly inspires everyone... Honestly, my secret of having many friends is BECAUSE I HAVE HER... (she's an angel...)

I already got my subjects.. As I browse through the list of the assessment of my subjects I think its pretty good... I now belong to a class... (At last, I feel relieved coz I have a school!!! haha) My section is BSN 1-A. and I met two of my soon-to-be classmates... (Shucks.. I forgot their names..WHAT THE....?!!!) Well it's okay... I think I'm just going to ask my mom...=) Everything's great so far except for my SCHED!!!! My mom's friend (whose daughter is going to be my classmate) said that it will be from Mondays to Fridays, 7 am to 5 pm... (GRRRR....) She even said that we still have classes every Saturday... (DAMN?!! Am I still in highschool..?) The moment I heard those words all I did was just to hope that it's not true... (I am still praying...)

When we arrived home I watched The Incredibles with my ever so reliable partner Ariane... Actually I saw this film already with my honey, Mark... It's just that it became so memorable to me because it's our first date and it's the first time that we saw a film together with no one exept the two of us...=) (Hope you still remember it honey... How can you forget that?!!! Haha..) It's cool and I really liked it so much... For me, IT ROCKS!!!=)

I drove for a few minutes in Gatchalian... My mom scolded me a bit but she's proud with my progress... (She's really nervous when I drive...) She kept on reminding me to slow down... Next week, I think I will be starting to drive without her but with someone who possesses a Professional Driver's License... I'm excited about it and hope that I will really be able to learn... =)

~My goal... TO DRIVE ALONG ALABANG-ZAPOTE ROAD BEFORE I TURNED 18!!!!! I will do it!!!~

Minutes before I started typing this post, I talked to Mark... All the aches that my body is feeling were slowly swept away from it the moment I heard his voice... I really want to say I love him on the phone but my mom is in front of me that's why I CERTAINLY can't.. (Hon..Please understand huh?!) But I know he already knows it... And I'm happy to hear something from him even if it took us only a few minutes to talk... I really want to be with him TODAY right at this moment!!!! I have many things to tell him... Many stories about yesterday and about what happened after I didn't get the chance to talk to him after we misunderstood one another... My life will be so miserable if he's not with me... I can't live without him... All I want is to take care of him and love him till forever... I've never imagined that a guy like him will make me fall so deeply, madly and truly in love... He means so much to me that all I think of is I will be spending the rest of my life with him... God had been so good to me when He gave me Mark... That's why having him with my whole family, I COULD NOT ASK FOR MORE.. (I love you so much Mark..I hope I can talk to you later..)

So this is the end... I am tired but I am so happy... =)

YUM... YUM...

2005-05-02T05:51:00.000-07:00

Just had dinner with the whole fam... My mom cooked her specialty "Kare-Kare" for us to fully enjoy tonight's dinner... (YUM... YUM... YUM...) Too bad my bro is not here with us and is currently staying at my cousin's place in Parañaque (wala tuloy kming kaagaw... saraaaaappp!!! =) harhar...) Today is a wonderful day for me... My sistah Audrey and I watched Wicker Park and The Notebook AGAIN!!!! We planned to watch the four vcds that she borrrowed yesterday but due to the weather's inconsiderate mood today (antindi ng init huh!!!!) we reserved the other two (Jersey Girl and The Terminal) this evening... Just hope it will be as nice as the first two movies... *wink*

I saw Maricon this morning... She dropped by our place just to pick up my gift for Mark for our 8th monthsary yesterday... (this girl is surely nice!! Im soo happy to see her...=) I miss her and our whole barkada soo much..) She remained the same... I haven't seen her for awhile but she's the same Ma. Concepcion Salvador Alcantara I know... sweet and sexy!!! =) (barkada kmi eh...harhar..)

Wicker Park rocks... At first, I don't believe my sister everytime she says that I will be missing half of my life if I won't be able to see it..(It's exaggerated I know... but It's true!!!) I certainly agree with her... The movie is GREAT!!!! =) I'm speechless evertytime I remember every scene that I saw in the movie...(Answit kc sooobra...) True love is certainly something that no one cn ever explain (except GOD of course..I believe that He is the author of Love...) Its magic is so overwhelming and maybe frustrating at times but is definitely worthwhile... =)

By the way I forgot to mention that I found my bracelet on my yesterday's post... Im just sooo happy that's why... I even forgot many things just because I found it.. It's very special that's why and it really reminds me of my guy ...

I want to go back to St. Jo as soon as possible... I don't know why I'm feeling this way but I certainly miss my school so much... It's nice to be back to your second home and be able spend time with your friends while doing your yearbook...Working but at the same time playing and fooling around... (I miss those guys so much!!!)

Tommorow, I'll be going to St. Paul University Manila with my mom and maybe my two fabulous sistahs...=) (Why do I always give them so many compliments when I write?? harhar.. Actually they really are fabulous individuals... They should thank me for this...hahaha!!) I'm so excited to enroll after a long wait... (What's more exciting than being a kolehiyala??!!) I am taking up BS Nursing and I'm hoping to finish it after 4 years and be able to pass the board exams... (though my real dream is to be a doctor...) Im looking forward to a whole new experience in this new school and meet new colleagues...

So this is all for now... I hope I can drive tomorrow...(I hope my mom will allow me since I already have my license) I really miss it and I hope I can go out of the main road sooner or later... =)

Expect the Unexpected...

2005-05-01T05:43:00.001-07:00

I feel so bad right now... Today SHOULD BE a perfect day for me... Perfect in the sense that I did my best in order to make this day an extraordinary one...

Early in the morning, I went to mass with my whole family... I listened to God's message very sincerely even if I'm so sleepy coz the Homily talks about deepening our faith which i needed the most... I used to be so close to God... I offer Him everything that i do throughout the day (joys, pains, accomplishments and most especially PROBLEMS!!!)...

Everything went on very smoothly afterwards... My siblings and I cracked funny jokes and played games (Shaggidy Sha Po Po is surely a great one...=) try it!!!)... We even watched the movie entitled THE JACKET which turned out to be one great SLEEPING PILL for all of us!!!!(except for my sistah Audrey who tried so hard not to fall asleep and appreciate the story...HAHA!!! I tell you she was good at it... She even thinks that the movie rocks!??) But still, I believe her and I know that every movie has somthing to be proud of...=)

Right after the movie, we went to my dad at Manila Memorial Park in Parañaque... I thanked him for so many things... For guiding us and not leaving us all alone... (Believe me...He is an angel!!!)

At this point, I began to realize that the bracelet given to me by Mark for our 4th monthsary last January 1,2005 (by the way, happy monthsary honey... hugs for you... Muah!!!) was lost... Shit! It was already the second time!!! This time, I am soooo sooo frustrated coz I know that I will never EVER see it again... i told Mark about it... I was afraid that he might get angry with my annoying carelessness (it happens everytime!!)... But then again the opposite thing happened...(He is really a good man!!!) He even comforted me and made me realize that there's nothing more important than the two of us!!! (What a sweetie...)

When we got home, I decided to watch The Notebook that my sistah borrowed from Video City... I can say that it is surely a perfect love story...=) Its twists added so much excitement for me to finish watching it... It is definitely a must-see movie for anyone who believes in the great magic of love.. I certainly recommend it for everyone to experience a special kind of feeling that can surpass anything... (Honestly, it made me miss my guy even more...~sigh~)

Now, my sistah and I agreed to watch Wicker Park... Actually, she had seen it already but I think she's so overwhelmed that's why she wants to watch it once again...=)

By the way.... Im so happy with the new design of my blog... It's a bit childish for my age but actually I really am a fan of Totally Spies from Disney Channel!!! I certainly like it... For me, it's cool... =) Thanks to my Very Beautiful and Sexy sistah Audrey!!! (I love this girl!!!)

Right now.. I'm so contented... with EVERYTHING!!!=)

Sleeping Beauty...

2005-04-30T02:32:00.000-07:00

Hahaha... Today is just another ordinary day for me... I woke up at around 10:30 am(meaning I slept for 9 hours from 1:30 am to 10:30 am..haha!) and then I watched cartoons(Totally Spies to be specific!!). After watching cartoons, my stomach is already growling meaning I HAVE TO EAT!!!! And so, I ate..

Mark texted me few minutes after my meal... He was telling me that he will go out with some of his friends to visit ALDRIN(my highschool classmate and friend who was recovering from an operation).. I allowed him to go, of course... I rily miss my guy so much... If only I can be with him, I will... It's just that there are a lot of things to consider and that includes one important person in my life...MY MOM!!!

Have you ever been thorned between two people that you love the most? ~sigh~

Right now, I just woke up from another 5-hour sleep... I don't know what benefit I will gain from sleeping, but it's just my way of diverting my attention away from Mark... too bad I still can't coz even in my dreams all I can see is HIM!!!

After a split second, my sistah gave me the phone... It was my Ninang Arlene (my Dad's youngest sister from Australia!! OHHH... I miss my dad so much...) We were sharing stories about her kids and about life... Her voice remained the same.. The same sweet voice that you will love to hear.. When I was young we use to be close to her but since she migrated to Australia with her husband and her kid of course there are some changes that occurred between us...

Mark is still in Cavite in Aldrin's place... My mom went out to buy some groceries with my bro and my youngest sister Ariane... My sister Audrey is in our room... AND IN MY BED!!! I usually got angry with them for staying in my place but in reality I am happy coz they are comfortable to be in it...

(I just hope my mom will be back in a few hours coz I am really hungry... hehehe...)

This is all I have for today... Nothing much... I hope tommorow will be an exciting one... I want to be in a forest and get stranded there even just for a day with my whole family and Mark... with nothing in our minds just US being together and enjoying the time...(Actually, I don't know what I can see in a forest but I really want to try other things...)

This is the song that Mark usually sings for me every night... (Im so sorry if all I ever wrote in here is all about him... I just miss him so much and tommorow is our 8th monthsary!!!*wink*) hugs for Mark!!

I'll Never Go

by Erik Santos

album:

You always ask me

Those words i say
And telling me what it means to me

Every single day
You always act this way
For how many times i told you
I love you
For this is all i know

Come to me and hold me
And you will see
The love i give
For you still hold the key

Every single day
You always act this way
For how many times i told you
I love you
For this is all i know

Chorus:
I'll never go far away from you
Even the sky will tell you
That i need you so
For this is all i know
I'll never go far away from you

Come to me and hold me
And you will see

The love i give
For you still hold the key

Every single day
You always act this way
For how many times i told you
I love you
For this is all i know

Chorus

**instrumental**

Chorus 2x

I'll never go
[never go away]
I'll never go away
[never go]...

I love you... I love you... I love you...

A Day to Remember...

2005-04-29T08:21:00.000-07:00

Im xooooo overwhelmed this day... My sistah and my mom reconciled after fighting a few days ago... I'm xooo happy for them... Thank God... Thanks Daddy!!! I really miss you so much...

This is Me.... The Very First Time

2005-04-29T07:13:00.000-07:00

Well... having my own journal is an exciting experience for me... This is definitely my very first time... you may call me "shallow" but this is who i am... simple but happy... Xoo thankful I have my sistah... She was the one doing all the designs and layout of this blogsite... It wouldn't be this nice without her...

I just hang up the phone... My boyfriend Mark and I were just sharing our experiences today... I miss him xo much... This summer SUCKS if I will not be given the chance to spend even just a single day with him... Life is not worth living without *Him*... Even if there are problems along the way having him is surely one thing that im xo thankful of!!!

Actuallly, I just had a petty quarrel with him about the thing that happened in the past a moment ago... We surely had gone a long way with all the problems and trials that try to destroy our relationship... We're not "legal" to my mom (as you may call it) but I don't mind all of these.. As long as he's with me... Im HAPPY!!!

Im xooo excited to enter college... This is another chapter of my life that i have to face... Definitely, I'm a bit worried but without this I cannot be a nurse which is surely my dream....

guess this is all for now..

First Ever Post

2005-04-29T05:07:00.000-07:00

Hi! This is the first post of this blog..

Actually ish me, Audrey, Melai's ate .. har har ...

I made this, but she'll start posting entries here sooner or later ... yiiiieee...